Are you on good terms with your ex, and are thinking about buying him or her a Christmas present?
Perhaps you can’t stand your former spouse and want to get him or her something as an act of revenge for how horribly you were treated during your relationship. Read on to learn why you might want to think twice before heading to the shopping centre.
What’s Your Motivation?
Ask yourself, “Why do I want to buy a gift for my ex?” Are you doing this because it’s something you genuinely want to do (out of the goodness of your heart, not out of revenge)? Or do you feel a sense of obligation, because if he or she gets you one, you don’t want to look bad? A third reason might be that you think a gift will help you two reconcile.
If you like and respect your ex-spouse and are giving a gift as part of the holiday season celebration, then you’re doing it for the right reasons. Otherwise, don’t do it out of obligation – you should be civil to your ex, but that doesn’t mean buying presents. And most certainly don’t buy your ex a gift thinking it will help you two get back together. The relationship is over for a reason.
How Will Your Ex See It?
Aside from considering your own motivation for buying a gift, think about how your ex-spouse will interpret the gesture. And bear in mind, we can never entirely know what’s going on in someone else’s head.
If you and your ex get along well, he or she might take the gift in the spirit which you intended it (one of goodwill and holiday cheer). Let’s say you don’t have a great relationship with your ex. A gift might do more harm than help.
Is your ex still carrying a torch for you? Perhaps he or she thinks the gift means you still have feelings and want to renew the relationship. If things ended quite acrimoniously, your ex might see the gift as a form of bragging – “Look how well I’m doing now without you that I can afford this.” Or, if your ex is in a new relationship, he or she might be concerned that the current significant other may become jealous or otherwise not handle the gift well.
Galbraith Family Law: Your Divorce Law Experts
Are you trying to stay on good terms with your ex? Galbraith Law can help.
Galbraith Family Law is a certified Collaborative Practice and has been named the top firm in Barrie multiple times. Our legal insights have also been featured in the Globe and Mail, as well as Lawyers Weekly.
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