The holidays are a festive and fun time of year, but they can also be extremely stressful, especially if you are going through a divorce. It is tough on you, your children, even family and friends.
Over time, this will change, but if it is still new, there are some strategies that will help everyone get through the holidays as pleasantly and easily as possible.
Dealing With Divorce During Holidays
One of the best things you can do is to plan ahead. Trying to avoid it by waiting until the last minute is only going to add to your stress and that of your family.
1) Have Realistic Expectations
You want the holidays to be perfect, but the reality is that trying to achieve perfection, especially when you are going through a major life change is unrealistic and will result in nothing but stress. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. Do the best you can.
2) Get Help and Support
Surround yourself with positive, supportive people, and let them help you through this holiday season. Don’t be afraid to reach out and let your friends and family know you are struggling.
3) Act in Your Children’s Best Interests
Anger, hurt feelings and circumstances can make planning for the holidays extremely difficult, especially when it comes to the children. Do your best to remain cooperative and to make decisions based on their best interests, not your feelings.
4) Take Good Care Of Yourself
Get enough rest, enough to eat and give yourself time to relax. Do something nice for yourself. Get a massage or go somewhere fun. It is okay to feel good and have fun, and at the same time you shouldn’t feel pressured to have a good time if you aren’t feeling it. The key is to do what feels right for you, just make sure that you are finding healthy ways to cope.
5) Start a New Tradition
One of the hardest parts of dealing with the holidays after a divorce is the feeling of loss of family and tradition. While you are not going to want to abandon all of your traditions and activities, take some time to try out a new tradition. This can be helpful, both to you and to your children.
6) Give And Get Reassurance
Reassure your children that they are loved and will be cared for by both you and the other parent. Avoid any arguing with your ex or badmouthing them in front of the kids. Allow yourself to be reassured that things will be okay.
If you are really struggling over the holiday season, give yourself permission to sit out most of the festivities if that’s what you need to do. Divorce during holidays is not easy, and friends and family will understand if you are not feeling up to parties or outings.
If you find that you are having serious difficulties dealing with divorce during holidays, then you may want to talk to a professional. Depression and anxiety can peak during these times, especially for those who are dealing with a life change such as divorce.
If you’re considering divorce, click the following link to speak with an experienced divorce lawyer.