You might feel like you’ve been holding your breath this entire time. Waiting to confirm the details of your divorce settlement. Itching to finally begin your new life. Whether you’re feeling pushed over the coals or pulled through the wringer, it’s time to recover and set a new foundation.
Once your divorce is finalized, and you’re feeling emotionally secure in your new outlook, it’s a great time to announce to the world your intentions… with a party!
Karen Salmansohn in The Bounce Back Book, explains that “losing a love relationship takes you through the same stages of grief associated with death—denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Acknowledging your loss with a ritualistic ceremony will make you better able to transition through these difficult stages.
“You’ll be giving yourself the opportunity to bury the darkness of your past, so you can move forward to a brighter future. And that’s not just my opinion—divorce ceremonies have become a highly popular trend all around the world!”
Here are a few ideas for you, to help set the tone of your celebration so that memories created are around positive new opportunities and freedom of being single.
Choose a Positive Theme
Something that reflects the tone of your dedication to your new life:
- Sweet & Sour | Lemons
- You 2.0
When Life Gives You Lemons…
Make Lemon Drops! Lemon drops are a great drink to serve; they reflect the yin & yang and mix of emotions that you go through in this process. If you don’t like Lemon Drops or want to avoid alcoholic drinks altogether, you can rename your “signature” beverage for the event with a fun name like “So Long Sucker”.
Some Bad Ideas Might Create Regrets
Even if selfies and Facebook updates have become commonplace with your group of friends, don’t let anyone record audio or video of what goes on.
Pictures (clothed) are OK, but there’s no need to document every gritty detail of your party, especially on someone else’s phone, where you have no control over when or how it’s shared. “If you’re like most people who are going through a divorce, you feel more anger now than you will later, and you are almost certain to say and do things you will want not to have a web trail. ‘Nuff said?”
Be considerate of the photos from your wedding or the love letters you wrote to each other. They may be painful reminders of your recent conflict, but if your marriage produced children, those sentimental family memories will mean something one day to your children.
While the process of a divorce can bring out unattractive qualities in many people, you can choose to approach it with an eye on the positive outcome for everyone – yourself, your soon-to-be-ex-spouse, your friends & family who only want to see each of you happy (whether together or apart), and most importantly, for your children.
Party Crackers & Gift Bag Stuffers
For party favours, consider giving something soothing & beneficial – like custom-labelled pots of lip balm with a positive message, or scented moist towelettes – to inspire and bring a smile to the face of your guests when they remember your party, and how you are embracing the limitless opportunity in your new life.
These are great for reminding yourself & your friends of your refreshed outlook for weeks, and while they continue to entertain well beyond the date of the party, they won’t last forever.
If you think a separation may be in your near future, contact a divorce lawyer in Newmarket to discuss any concerns that you may have.