On the list of Bad Life Milestones, “Explaining divorce to a child” appears right at the top.
Getting a divorce is never easy. Which is why you should always consult a divorce lawyer in the city of Newmarket, or wherever you live for help. It becomes a lot harder when there are children involved. The hardest aspect might just be finally sitting down with your children to explain what is happening. You have to explain it so that they do not feel any blame for the situation, and can find a way to look forward to the change. Explaining divorce to a child is never easy, but it must be done.
Be A Team
While you have your differences, you still have at least one thing in common: the love you have for your children. If you want to make sure that you are doing what is right for them, you have to be a team.
Sit down together with your children. This will show them that you are still a united front when it comes to parenting and you both still love them more than ever.
Consider Their Age
Before you can decide exactly what to say to your children, you have to consider their age. By having an age appropriate conversation, you will be much more likely to get a good response from your children.
For example, if your child is 5 years old, he will probably accept any information you give him. However, a 12 year old knows a little more about how the world works and might want a more detailed explanation. While you want to be honest, you do not want to be too descriptive.
No matter the age of the children, it is important to make sure that you are never putting the other parent in a bad light. Never blame or bad mouth the other parent. You will only cause more confusion, resentment, and sadness than is necessary.
Some Things You Might Say
It is important to make sure that you hear what you are going to say before you sit down with your children to have this talk. If you are having trouble figuring out where to begin, try reading over the following points.
• “Your dad and I have found that we are not as much in love as we were when we got married. So we thought it was best that we live in different homes.”
• “You need to remember that this does not change how much we both love you and will be there for you.”
• “We want to make sure that we are giving our family the best chance at happiness.”
• “Things may appear different, but our love for you does not change.”
• “We will all get through this together.”
• “We are still going to be your mom and dad, but we just will not be married to each other anymore.”
Alter them to make them your own, if you want. Just make sure that you are staying positive and that you are focusing on how the change affects or does not affect the child.
It is important to remember that you may need to discuss this a few times with small children. Instead of sitting down for an hour-long conversation, you might have a couple of ten-minute talks. This allows the child time to process all of the information and adjust to the coming changes.
In addition, no matter the age of the child, it is important to have this conversation at least two weeks before anyone moves out. This way, the children have time to adjust. Having this conversation and then finding that dad already moved his stuff out can be too much of a shock to the system.