Everyone’s divorce story is different, but there is one thing they all have in common – they leave a mark on us in some way or another. Hearing or even saying the words “I want a divorce” can be one of the most devastating things to be said, and that can leave a deep emotional scar. Hearing or realizing your relationship is over can be similar to the feeling one gets when you grieve over the loss of a family member or friend. What is important to remember is that divorce is not the end of the story; it is the beginning of a new one. No one is ever prepared for what it feels like to get divorced, but there are ways to prepare for your life after divorce and these are a few things you should keep in mind during your divorce to help you come out stronger and more independent person.
Keep yourself in check.
You were once committed to someone so closely, that you vowed to spend the rest of your lives together, and now that you are getting divorced that is all ending. With that being said, you are allowed to feel upset and grieve about this. There is no shame in feeling depressed or angry or sad about your marriage ending. Strong feelings are natural. What is not healthy is bottling up your feelings or expressing how you feel to the wrong people.
Whether it is a close family member or friend, it is good to have someone you trust to help you through the divorce process that you can talk to. It also may be in your best interest to seek help from a therapist to help you work through your more complex feelings if necessary.
Pay close attention to your finances.
What blindsides many divorcing couples is the financial blow of changing from two sources of income to one. Yes, divorcing your spouse is a very emotional process, but there are times when you will need to put that aside for a short while and think about what your financial future will look like after your divorce. As an example, you may want to keep your family home because of the emotional ties you have to it. The question is whether this is the best choice for you to make now that you are on your own.
You will also need to review and figure out how to divide any shared savings or investment accounts you may have with your spouse along with other shared assets and will even need to make edits to your will. It is best to work with an experienced family lawyer during this process to ensure you have everything completely covered and that your separation agreement is one that will hold up long term.
Your spare time is yours to use wisely
One of the other big life changes people go through during a divorce is the new amount of spare time they have. Perhaps you share custody of your kids with your spouse and now your home is empty every other week. It can be hard not seeing your children or your family as often as you used to but try to see your spare time as a positive thing for you. This is your time to make and accomplish goals that mean something to you. This is your time to try out new things and plan for a better future for yourself. This is your time to find out who you are and who you want to be. Use your time wisely.
Remember why you are getting divorced.
For some, the divorce process is smooth sailing, for others, the divorce process is riddled with hoops and hurdles, and roadblocks. You may encounter people who oppose your divorce or treat you differently because you are getting divorced, but when you hit these hurdles, just keep reminding yourself why you are doing all of this in the first place. It is not to make other people happy; it is because you and your spouse decided that your relationship is no longer working and being divorced was the best choice for the both of you.
Think of the things to look forward to after your divorce.
While remembering why you are getting divorced, also remind yourself of the good things that are to come after your divorce. We do not choose to get a divorce because we want our lives to be miserable forever. We choose to get divorced to improve our lives and wellbeing. Whatever the reason is for your divorce, just keep looking forward to the positives, and eventually, you will get there.
Are you currently separating or wanting to divorce your spouse and you are not sure where to start? Are you worried about what your life will look like after your divorce is finalized? We can help you at Galbraith Family Law. Our team of experienced family lawyers has seen it all when it comes to divorce, and we understand what you are going through. We can not only help you through the divorce process but help you get a better idea of what your future will look like after your divorce as well. Get started by booking a consultation with us today at one of our five offices. Our confidential client care team is ready to help you through this unprecedented time. For our Toronto divorce law, offices call 647-370-8965, for our Newmarket office call 289-210-4692 or you can reach us at our Barrie office at 705-230-2734. We’re here to help you as much or as little as you need throughout your divorce process and are committed to resolving your family conflict with heart.