All relationships go through the amazing times that you remember fondly, and smile big and wide for no apparent reason to those around you.
And all relationships go through the bad times too, that you’d rather forget sooner than later. But if you haven’t been intimate with your partner in over ten years, it may be time to re-evaluate your relationship and consider your future with or without your current partner.
Under Canadian law, if either or both people in a legal marriage just don’t want to have sex with each other, it’s not grounds for an annulment. However, if one or both parties cannot have sex with the other – say because of a traumatic event or a medical condition — that is grounds for an annulment.
That said, many people consider getting a divorce if they haven’t been sexually involved with their better half for a long time.
However, there is more to being intimate, than just sex.
If you’re experiencing any of the following signs of lost intimacy in your relationship, it may be time to really think about taking a break from each other through a trial separation, or if need be, a divorce.
Lack of All Affectionate Contact
Sex is a barometer of a healthy marriage, but experts also say affectionate contact is a good sign of a healthy or a toxic relationship.
Do you no longer hold hands while in public?
Has the once passionate kiss when you say hello and good-bye turned into a quick peck on the cheek, or disappeared altogether? Do you both avoid any physical contact, putting more space between you whenever you’re near?
These may be signs that your marriage has lost its intimacy, and be cause for re-thinking your current situation.
Listen to the Quiet
Communications is important in all relationships, however, a lack of communications may be a sign of lost intimacy.
Have your conversations over dinner gone from talking about your day, sharing your thoughts and feelings about the world around you, and discussing your future plans been reduced to short and to the point updates about the kids?
Or, is the silence so deafening, you drown it out with other distracting sounds such as the radio or television?
If you’re not communicating like you used to, or not at all, it could be a serious sign of a loss of intimacy in your marriage.
Constantly Fighting Over – Everything
Arguing and disagreements are normal in all relationships. However, if everything your spouse does causes you to fly off the handle, that’s a sign that you may have lost the love – literally.
Experts say if you’re constantly finding fault with everything your partner does, you’re putting yourself ahead of your relationship, and may have already “checked out” of your marriage, as the fighting has become a normal part of it.
No More Niceness
Did your partner used to bring you your morning coffee or tea but doesn’t anymore? Did you used to help your spouse find his or her lost keys when they were rushing out the door, but now you just let them handle it?
Not doing the little things you or your partner used to do may not seem like a big deal, but experts say it could be a sign of an on-going hidden hostility between the two of you, and is a sign of a lack of intimacy.
Hidden hostility – or any hostility – between you is a sign something has got to change.
If you’re experiencing any of the above signs of lost intimacy, you may want to think about your current relationship and look at ways to improve or change your situation.
Are You Facing an Upcoming Divorce?
A divorce lawyer is going to help you navigate the complicated and frustrating legal process of divorce, which is invaluable during this often stressful period in your life.
At Galbraith Family Law, we know that soon-to-be ex-spouses have a difficult road ahead, and we have helped countless men and women sort things out as smoothly and painlessly as possible. If you want to learn more, or you need legal representation, contact us today, and start your new life on the right foot.