If this is your first summer after a divorce, you probably have mixed emotions. You may be sad, clinging to memories of loading up the car and escaping to the cottage or campsite together. Or you may cringe at remembering having to act like you’re not fighting with your spouse at a soccer game.
In either case, it will be an adjustment. And you may have lots of questions heading into this summer season. Let’s take a look at a few of the most common.
What Will I Do With the Kids?
This is a big one. This may be the first summer where you really have to worry about what your kids will do all day. You may need childcare, or to lean heavily on family and friends. And what about summer camp?
The first thing you need to do is always put the child and their mental well-being first. So if you’re investing a lot of time and emotional collateral in a summer getaway with your child, make sure it’s something they will want to do and you’re not trying to force fun on them.
“Avoid dictating how the summer will unfold to your children. If you and your former spouse decided on the summer parenting time schedule, ensure that your children have input into how they want to spend their weeks with each parent,” wrote Julie Gowthorpe, R.S.W at Parents.com.
“This is particularly important for older children, who often look forward to time with friends during summer vacation.”
How Will I Handle Showing Up to Events Alone?
When you were married, you had yourself a permanent “plus one.” But now you may be absolutely dreading showing up to social events by yourself.
Other people’s weddings are a big stressor for newly divorced people. Seeing two people at the peak of their love, while you’re divorced, is enough to make you sick or keep you at the bar all night. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
You can do yourself a big favour by staying as positive as you can. We know, a small part of you may be dying inside, but avoid the temptation to spew venom… Right now, anyways.
We recently came across a great blog that advises, “You will be flooded with all sorts of emotions, from happy/sad ones of your own wedding to angry/despondent ones of your divorce to cynical/bitter ones about this wedding. Keep your mouth shut about them all. This isn’t the time. It isn’t the place. Those words can wait.”
Are You Thinking About Getting a Divorce?
Perhaps you can’t stomach the thought of another tumultuous summer together, and maybe you’re ready for a change in your life.
Fine & Associates Professional Corporation is a well-respected Toronto Law Firm that prides itself on providing quality personal service and favourable outcomes in Family Law and Divorce Law.
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